Jokes

This guy goes skydiving for the first time. After he jumps out of the
plane, he counts to ten, pulls the ripcord, and nothing happens. Only
a little worried, he pulls the cord for the auxiliary parachute, but
unfortunately, the chute still does not appear. As he is plummeting
toward the Earth, he sees a woman coming up the other way. He shouts to
her "Do you know anything about parachutes?" "No", she says, "do you
know anything about gas stoves?"
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While driving along the back roads of a small town, two Arkansas truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11'3". They got out and measured their rig, which was 12'4".
"What do you think?" one asked the other.
The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first."Not a cop in sight. Let's take a chance!"

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On a shopping trip to the city a backwoods farmer bought a 24-piece jigsaw puzzle. He worked on it every night for two weeks. Finally, the puzzle was finished.
"Look what I've don, Jess," he said proudly to a visiting neighbor.
"That's surely somethin', Willard. How long did it take you?"
"Only two weeks."
"Never done a puzzle myself," Jess said. "Is two weeks fast?"
"Darn tootin'," Willard said. "Look at the box. It says, 'From two to four years."

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